


no longer alone

by Asmodeus



Series: Can't Stay Away [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, M/M, Mer!Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 08:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12979857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asmodeus/pseuds/Asmodeus
Summary: the only person you can't lie successfully to is yourself. but sometimes you can solve the issue, and lying to yourself is no longer necessary.





	no longer alone

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written a fic in years and who needs a beta when i can run rampant on my own agenda.

‘ You don’t belong here. ‘

Green eyes, dull with sorrow as he threw rocks across the waters of Asgard, shifted from their downcast location to a ripple in the water. Towards the edge leaned a figure, or perhaps just part of a figure. Lower half submerged in the water, Loki could tell that this wasn’t just an Aesir out for a swim. The waters of Asgard were known to throw people off the edge and into the void, an end that no one would be fond of in the slightest. He narrows his gaze though, letting it slide on what he could see of the other and into the water following the motions of where a body would follow.

‘ Neither do you. ‘ The words bring a chuckle to the strangers lips, and Loki can catch movement of a tail under the surface now, a gentle movement as he kept himself stationary.

‘ Touche. But I can’t just up and leave here like you can. Not so easy. ‘ Loki watches the other with curious gaze as he pulled himself up and onto the rock ledge that he once leaned against. His lower half was now bare and visible, tail end flicking softly in the light it could finally see and feel, warmth seeping in. ‘ Whats a prince like you doing out here looking like you had your favourite toy ripped from your grasp ?? ‘

Snapping his head to the stranger, Loki frowns, displeasure sure in his expression. What right did a creature like this have to ask such things ?? To speak to him in such a manner ?? Obviously the other got the idea, hands raising in defensive motion as he chuckles somewhat softly. ‘ I’m not trying to be offensive, I promise. I just see you around here a lot, always looking disappointed in something or another. I wanted to know why is all. ‘

This stops Loki for a moment -- he had seen him before ?? Which meant that this area always had the other in it and he had never noticed them before. Eyebrows furrow before Loki looks out across the water instead, the edge of Asgard in the distance but he knows the cascade -- the falls -- are there.

‘ Tell me your name first, then perhaps I’ll provide a reason if I deem it acceptable. ‘ Loki knew that was one of his only cards besides being the brat as his father called him and refusing to answer from sheer stubbornness. It doesn’t dissuade the other, he simply smiles and looks out across the water as well.

‘ Antony. You were right by the way, I really don’t belong around here. ‘ Tail flicks a little more actively before Loki notices him dip it back into the waters. It was uncomfortable for him no doubt but his shift from breathing with gills to lungs seemed to be an easy enough one.

He feels he should respond, should give the reasons that Antony had asked for to him -- but he doesn’t want to. Lips part as Loki looks over towards him, takes him in for the first time since their little talk. Antony was … rough looking but nothing unpleasant on the eyes at all. He wore no clothing on his upper half which left the sun to tan him, and his tail was a stunning combination of reds and golds. It was no particular fish species that Loki could find on the tip of his tongue, which meant that Antony very much did not come from around these parts. He wants to ask where he’s from, wants to know more -- but if Loki was unwilling to give his reasonings to Antony then it was not his place to request any more information.

It seemed that in all of Loki’s staring though that he was caught, warm eyes meeting his own before a knowing grin crosses Antony’s face. His tail flickers and slaps the water's surface on his return motion and sends a spray of water at them both. Loki sputters, frown returning to his face before he glares at Antony.

‘ Was that honestly necessary ?? ‘

A laugh escapes Antony without much restraint and he repeats the action a bit harder this time. ‘ Not exactly, but I had to distract you there. Your looks were giving me goosebumps, your highness. ‘ He gives a wink before slipping himself back into the water and dunking under, surfacing and pushing strands from his face. ‘ Besides, ‘ he starts, leaning against the ledge again, ‘ I’m sure you want some alone time to be broody. I’ll leave you to it, see you around my prince !! ‘  
Loki barely gets a moments reaction time before Antony is gone in a flick of his tail and into the depths. He has no idea where he disappeared to as the waters are not deep, but perhaps he went into the water reserves under the city. Or maybe Loki would return another day to ask.

\--------

Return another day to ask takes longer than Loki had initially planned.

Being a prince still had his duties even if he wasn’t fond of what came with them all. There were lessons from his father, lessons from his mother, lessons from others in the castle for knowledge he would generically need, books to read, tasks to perform. Loki found himself busy for weeks before he could return to the water's edge.  
It was silent today, the waves were low and there wasn’t the sounds of birds in the air. Silence is what Loki usually came out here for, silence to sort out his thoughts and his constant battling emotions with the people in his life. Not today, today he came for noise, to speak and answer Antony before he had scared him off.

But there’s no one here.

So Loki sits and waits, knows that the other is there, somewhere. He always had seen him there after all, knew he went here with disappointed looks and a need to be alone. But when what feels like hours pass and Antony never shows up, he feels disappointed instead in that. Had he started him off that well ?? Made it so he didn’t want him around at all ?? Of course, not many people were impressed with his choices made, so why would Antony be ?? Grabbing a rock he stands himself up, chucking it into the water in frustration.  
It takes only a second before Loki turns and walks towards the path he came from, irritated and disappointed in himself for driving another person away somehow -- but then there’s a soft splash and the sound of something wet hitting the stone he had just been sitting on.

‘ You know, not exactly polite to come here, not even tell me you’re waiting, which don’t correct me there was not a peep of noise from you until your fit, and then stomp off. Next time you want to see me you can just throw a rock at the water. Motion and sound travels far in it you know. ‘ When Loki turns around, there’s Antony, leaning on the edge like none the wiser. Chin propped in one hand as the other braces his torso there. He looked … stunning to say the least, and Loki can’t help but smile softly at the sight.

‘ I’ll have you know I wasn’t sure if you worked like a fish or not, you have the same ears as a Midgardian or Aesir after all. ‘ Taking the few steps back to his spot, Loki sits himself down, a small huff of insincere irritation in his voice.

There’s a roll of Antony’s eyes when Loki looks down at him after his response, a quirk of the others lips. Loki simply cocks a brow up, he knows Antony wants to say something, he just has that look to him even if the two of them barely knew each other. Would he talk this time though ?? Last time Loki had startled him off after all. ‘ If I talk in the air you can hear me for a distance, right ?? ‘ After a knowing look from the prince he continues, ‘ so in water it works a lot the same. The quieter the water is the better it travels, like windier days. ‘

It was no knowledge that Loki was unaware of, but he smiles and looks away, sure that Antony thought he was some idiot now, so he simply adds that of course he knew that, but he didn’t want to hit him by accident is all. It garners him a muffled laugh from Antony before the other pulls himself up onto the ledge like the time before and leans back on the rocks this time, letting the sun warm him.

The two remain in silence for a bit, Loki unsure how to start his delayed response from the time before. It was a simple answer, he’s not sure what he struggled with in replying. He figured an apology would be a great point to start though, but as he parted his lips to speak he hears Antony sit himself up beside him.

‘ You don’t have to tell you know, prince. After all, what place is it for me to know anything ?? ‘

Loki feels his words fall at the tip of his tongue, just short of being useful and being there. ‘ Antony, that's not it, ‘ he manages to bite out, lip worried between his teeth after he does. Eyes and head tilt away as he knows the other was watching him now, intently.

‘ Then what's it about ?? You disappeared for weeks, prince -- ‘

‘ Call me Loki, I tire of people endlessly referring to me as prince when I will never have the throne. ‘ It comes out with a sharp edge, words not meant to hurt but with a purpose to them. He hears Antony give a small sharp inhale before a shift in movement. Loki glances back towards him, expression soft, lost, as he releases a sigh. ‘ My brother has been told he will get the throne. It won’t be immediate but it will be soon. He’s an idiot, Antony !! He can barely manage his own clothes and they expect him to rule all of Asgard !! ‘

Antony sits there in silence for what feels like minutes, but its only seconds after that he laughs and pushes hair from his face, a tangled mess that has dried in the sun. ‘ Thor is about as bright as a moss covered rock some days. Not a glowing moss covered rock either, one of the ones I find in the caverns under the water. Just gross, slimy, dim. ‘ Bright eyes shift to Loki as he watches Antony, startled at his response. ‘ That's why you’re here so often, isn’t it ?? You aren’t the favoured child, so of course you find solstice outside of home. ‘

It's a slow nod as Loki looks to the water. ‘ Mother acknowledges me, but Thor is still favoured in both of their eyes. ‘ He would be denied more often than once if he mentioned this to his mother, knows that Frigga would defend both of them as her equal sons. But Loki, as much as he adores Frigga far over Odin, knows that's not the case. 

There have been years of it showing, Odin admiring Thor's blind bravery to thwart any enemy that arrives. He praised his strength but never praised Loki as he picked up new spells and could bend reality to his will more and more. None of it was enough to be called better or even an equal to Thor, and it made his blood boil just thinking of it.

Loki is broken from his thoughts when a cool hand rests against his cheek, twisting his head to catch what Antony was doing -- thinking -- when he did such an action. The other sat there, eyes soft with an almost knowing feel to them. Pulling his hand back, Antony’s eyes fall from Loki to the rocks they sat on then out to the water -- to the Bifrost at the edge of the bridge.

‘ I know the feeling. Well enough anyways, ‘ he supplies, arms bracing against his lower half as he leans forward and lets the building breeze calm him. ‘ My father isn’t exactly the pride of the pod. ‘ Antony doesn’t give any more than that, his eyes remaining on the Bifrost.

He’s curious about how a water dwelling creature ended up on Asgard in the first place. Antony was alone as Loki is sure if there were more of his kind that they would be more noticed. Antony was the only one here, had lived in silence and simply just … watched as other peoples lived carried on around him, above him. It was a terrible thought, but even as surrounded in people Loki was, he felt much the same. No one understood him as he struggled to make sense of everything he could do and make something of it and himself.

Maybe they didn’t have to live so alone anymore though.

‘ I was busy with responsibilities up at the castle the past few weeks, that's cause for my absence. But … come the future, I wish to speak with you here when I have the time. Will you come when I toss a rock in the water every time ?? ‘ He shifts himself a bit on the rock, the surface uncomfortable for long periods of time. The question breaks Antony out of his thoughts and he blinks when he turns to look at Loki, curious and a touch stunned.

‘ .. yeah, unless I’m asleep. But I don’t get much of that, don’t need it. ‘ The smile returned to Antony’s lips as he laughed, leaned over and nudged Loki enough that the two of them fell over, Antony grasping at Loki’s waist to keep him from falling into the water. They laughed, and Loki finally didn’t feel alone.

\--------

Loki was surprised that Antony and him had gotten along so well and as fast as they had.

The two started spending hours on the waters edge when Loki had the time. When it wasn’t Loki rambling about the stupid things his brother had done that day it was Antony telling him about the different gossip he heard through the people in town or on the bridge out to travel to another realm. He heard about new shops opening up that would interest Loki while he told Antony about his lessons and taught him about the branches of the Yggdrasil and the other realms. 

Antony one day spoke up about his knowledge of the other realms, his brief time where he was born on Midgard. It brought up memories that clearly weren’t fond ones and Loki let the moment pass, not wanting to make Antony speak when he did not wish to. He did however speak of its people, how they were ever changing. How he knew he would thrive in a world like that -- if he was given the chance. That had been when he broke off, a pained expression before he tore another bite out of a piece of jerky Loki had brought them as a snack. Loki never questioned him further, never asked how he arrived on Asgard from Midgard and simply .. left it. It wasn’t his place to press further.

Other days when Loki didn’t feel like speaking Antony would simply talk for the sake of talking, he would fill in their silence with words that weren’t necessary. Loki would never stop him, simply cock a brow up in question towards the other when he asked if he was talking too much. The answer was always a clear and unquestionable yes but that never stopped Antony from grinning and continuing his very one sided conversation.

One of said conversations though is what caught Loki that day. He had been there, dreading the oncoming coronation that would put an idiot on the throne of Asgard. He loved Thor, he was his brother. But that's not how he wanted his brother to be reflected upon their kingdom -- as an oaf who did nothing but fought wars that were unnecessary. Antony was going on about the cave systems in the sides of the mountains, how water ran in them which gave him an easy access to exploration. The one in particular he was speaking about today was colder, the water turned to ice the further in he went, and when he had started to shiver he had to leave. There was no cause to the temperature shift at all, but he knew something was up with that cave system. Perhaps a secret path --

That was as far as Antony made it before Loki spun his head to look at Antony and grin wide, an idea forming as he took the others shoulders and held him there. ‘ Antony -- that's it !! You found the answer to my problems !! ‘ It was a sudden exclamation which left Antony in a small moment of confusion, but he was quickly pulled out of it when a pair of lips met his own -- albeit briefly -- in thanks. Loki was up and on his feet in no time after that, knowing the information he needed all from Antony’s seemingly pointless rambles.

He takes one last look at the other, Antony’s look one of confusion before he gives a brief smile in return of Loki’s excited expression. This was the last he’d get to see Antony for a while, too many plans to set into motion before the coronation day that was fast approaching. He’d miss his company, but he had to do something about the situation at hand, no matter how drastic it may be to do them.

\--------

It turned out that Loki wouldn’t see Antony for weeks after that. With the Jotnar appearing on Asgard, the royal guard were more on edge than ever before. Soon after was Thor and gangs adventure to Jotunheim which lead to some … unpleasant after effects from Loki’s view. Things had gone further than he intended them to. He never planned to have Thor cast out to Midgard, never planned to learn of some unsavoury heritage that they never had informed him of. 

The next time he does see Antony he’s sitting on the edge, hasn’t touched the water. He simply twists his hand back and forth, still unsure of his own being. Theres the sound of shifting water before he sees Antony at his feet, arms resting on the princes boot before he cocks a head to the side.

‘ The city folk are a mess right now. Something about Thor banished ?? Odin in his Odin sleep ?? Not too knowledged on a lot of Asgard workings but that all seems a little extreme for a plan of yours, Lokes. ‘ The nickname, one Antony had picked up weeks into the meetings, makes Loki’s expression soften, a frustrated sigh from him as he drops his hand and pulls his knees to his chest.

‘ I did not plan on those things !! I only wanted Thor's coronation stopped, for the oaf to learn his lesson. ‘ Pressing his face into his knees he tries his hardest to stay composed. After all, he was king now, and kings do not fall apart as he so wanted to do.

Antony seemed to be taking this in much better stride than Loki was, but he wasn’t in the center of it all, wasn’t the cause of it at the root. Loki can feel something wet against his calves and assumes its Antony’s forehead, resting there as he speaks.

‘ Well then, clean it up. You’re smart, you can figure this out, Lokes. I know you can. You came up with this mess which means you can make a more organized chaos out of it as well. ‘ He sounded so sure, so positive that Loki could fix it all so easily. He wasn’t so sure about Antony’s confidence in him … but he would try. If it meant more drastic measures then then be it.

‘ Thank you. I’ll work on it. ‘ There's a shift against his legs as he feels the other nod, then the disappearance of the contact all together as Antony swam away, leaving Loki to his thoughts.

It wasn’t a good idea in the slightest, as without anyone to bounce ideas off of, to reassure him that they wouldn’t ultimately rebound into his face again, there was no promises that he wouldn’t mess this idea up again. It leads him to the only idea he has left to give -- force the one who could right this to be worthy again or die trying.

Loki lifts himself from the ground, slowly, and runs over his plan in his head. Once, twice, three times -- he had nothing else he could think of. It was a last resort effort and if he didn’t act now there would be no acting left to be done. He gives one last glance towards the water, the edge, the Bifrost. He thinks of Antony and whispers a quiet apology before he turns on his heel and makes quick work of making it back to the palace.

\--------

Of all of Loki’s plans, this one had turned out relatively well but also tremendously horrible.

The Bifrost could easily destroy a planet with little effort. Thor wanted Jotunheim gone, and Loki wanted no trace of his heritage left. It had felt like exactly what he needed : force Thor back, break Jotunheim, let Thor become king after he had hopefully smartened up. But of course, plans never turn out as they hope in his case. They never seen eye to eye, it took too much hair and teeth pulling to make Thor learn the error of his ways, to make him see how he was wrong, that Loki knew what he was doing.

That’s how he ended up in that final moment, barely hanging on as he looked up at his brother -- no, at Thor, and at Odin. Former family that had always made him feel lonely, made him feel like there was no one there for him. It makes him pause for one moment, stopping and looking towards the waters edge.

He can see a shape, familiar in colour and voice. Antony leans as best as he can off one of the peaked rocks, expression worried, frightened. He knows Loki well enough that he knows what he’ll do next. 

And as Loki lets go, all he can hear is Antony’s scream.

And then all he sees is darkness.


End file.
